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Friday, July 10, 2009

Death Before Birth: The Good Things Part IV


Photo by kudomomo

Isaiah was a good thing and he was given to me by God to accomplish purposes that only God knew. I was privileged to see some of those things that may not have come about otherwise.

  • The best good thing that happened was that my relationship with the Lord was restored.

  • Through this, I believe that my marriage is stronger.

  • When I left the hospital, I received a pamphlet on the D & C but nothing at all on miscarriage. At that point, I didn’t know a single thing about miscarriage. Very few mothers research that kind of thing. Weeks later, the Lord laid something on my heart. I contacted the hospital and submitted a brief outline and draft for a pamphlet I suggested they create on some basic miscarriage facts. Had I received such a thing, it may have reduced the questions I had and guilt the guilt I experienced regarding the little things like eating chocolate. (That sounds silly now but when you are going through a rough time, little things are so often magnified). I also suggested including some information on resources or where to get additional support if needed. A few months after that, I received a revised draft copy of a pamphlet that they were putting into print. I pray that many women will be helped by that.

  • Eight weeks after losing Isaiah, I was was rejoicing about a positive pregnancy test. Had I not lost Isaiah, I would not have had Chloe and I can not imagine my life without her.

  • After I found out that I was pregnant with Chloe, I knew I had to return to church. But, amazingly, not the same church I had previously attended. I am not sure where the name of this new church came from but the Lord laid it on my heart and I prayed about it for weeks. I then began attending Bethel. I immediately fit right in and the Lord, in His wisdom, provided the perfect ministry opportunity for me in this season of my life.

  • Since losing Isaiah, I have had many friends and relatives lose their little unborn babies. Having experienced it myself, I am able to empathize with them. While I can’t say for certain that they feel that it was helpful talking to me, I hope that it in some way helped and comforted them. Sometimes it helps just to know you are not alone (Job 2:11-13)

  • Though I would have loved and appreciated my children without having experienced a loss, because of it, I think I have an even greater thankfulness for the children that the Lord has since blessed me with.

  • I also pray that I can add this series to the list of good things that have come about. I pray that through the writing of this series, more women will know that they are not alone.

Nothing I’ve shared is new; it’s not a cure or a band-aid but sometimes just knowing that others have experienced something similar and made it through helps beyond belief.

When writing this series, I was looking through the little memory box with the few reminders of Isaiah’s brief life. I named him Isaiah because through his death he reminded me of why it isn’t something to fear. God is our Salvation!

In church the week before I began posting this series, we had a guest preacher at church. As we followed our guest pastor throughout the bible in his sermon, we touched in Isaiah. Though it had nothing to do with the message, the Lord knew what I was struggling with putting this personal and intimate story ‘out here’. God gave me Isaiah 6:8 to give me a peace in sharing about Isaiah. Some may say this is co-incidence but I know it was Lord. I may not be going out on the mission field or as a prophet with declaring God’s Word but I am answering the call and saying, “Here am I Lord, send me! Let my story touch broken or hurting hearts with Your Love and turn those hearts towards You!”

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