King of Our Castle: Welcoming Daddy Home!

Photo by Ben

 

At the Well last week we were challenged to think about:

• How can we lay a welcome mat of love for our husbands after a long day of hard work?
• How can we make our homes inviting places where Daddy longs to be at the end of a long day?
• How can we involve our children in this process and teach them to show reverence to their Daddy?

Lisa's post had many great ideas, many of which we do (or strive to do) already in our home.

The husband is the head of the wife (Eph. 5:23) so loosely translated; he's the king of the castle (and that makes me queen). That head/kingship position was given to him by God and so you and I need to show love and respect to our husbands out of love and respect for them as well as God.

What are some practical ways that I try to show this?

Tidy his 'sore points': Before DH gets home, I try to have the front part of our home and the kitchen tidy. That is something that takes a few minutes but that makes an impression on him. Because we have 2 x 2 year olds and a 1 year old racing around it isn't ever perfect but it is picked up as best I can. I asked my husband a while back what he thought was a "messy house", what made him think the house was clean and which areas bothered him the most. His answers surprised me. DH doesn't care about dust but he likes clear (and clean!) counters in the kitchen. He doesn't care about a pile of laundry as long as there are clothes to wear the next day and clean underwear. My priorities were not his priorities so I have tried (and am trying) to change my priorities to his in order to please and honor him and in doing so, I honor the Lord!

Kiss Him! When he comes home, the first thing I (try) to do is put down whatever I am doing and go to the door to kiss him. Depending on what I am doing with the baby or the little ones it isn't always practical but I do since I believe this sends the message that I am happy to see him and that he is important to me!

Ask about His Day with the Right Motivation: This one is a little tricky for me and DH actually was the one who caught me in this! (How embarrassing!) He asked me one day if I asked him about his day simply so that I could start talking about mine. Eek. I think he was joking but the sad thing was, it was partially true. As a SAHM, I am blessed to have so many wonderful adventures with our littles each day and I am anxious to share but if I am not truly interested in how his day went, I am better off to not ask in the first place. Nothing shows disrespect and sends the message that "I'm not interested / I don't care" like asking a question but not actively listening to the answer!

Have his "____" Ready: For some it may be dinner, but since my DH gets home at 3pm and (you'll be green with envy) does a good portion of the cooking (because he enjoys it) dinner isn't something he is looking for. But my husband loves the mail! I joke with him sometimes that he is more excited to see the mail than me. lol. Since I know that is something that makes him happy. I generally try to have it picked up and waiting for him on the table.

A Special Something: I try to have a little snack of sorts for him when he gets home. Some days it is baked cookies, or other desserts I know he would like but this week it is bread. DH loves bread. I've been trying out several recipes (white bread, foccaccia, pita) seeing what works. Surprisingly it doesn't take much time in my day at all (but don't tell him that!) and I'll share more about that later. Anyway, I don't have something every single day but it makes me (and the littles!) happy to have something to show him we were thinking of him that day.

What about My Littles?

Talk it Up! Chloe is 2 and John is 1. Both are pretty little still but I talk about daddy's home-coming with excitement and anticipation. Excitement is contagious! Our children's attitudes and actions to their daddy is influenced greatly by our own attitudes and actions towards our husband, his headship, his home coming etc.

Freshen Up! I love my children unconditionally but (secretly) it is nicer to accept kisses, hugs and snuggles from a freshly washed, nice smelling child - does that make me a bad mother?!? Before daddy gets home, I do try to make sure everyone is washed up. It doesn't always work but I do try.

What makes Home a Haven for Daddy?

Obedience! I know this is one of the biggest things in having a peaceful and relaxing atmosphere in our home for DH. Obedience without fussing and crying is an area that we are still working on diligently. I ensure that I am dealing with discipline issues as the come up during the day as opposed to "daddy will deal with you...". I want my children to look forward to seeing their daddy, not dreading it all day. I also want him to be able to come home and enjoy his littles; to have him do as little discipline as possible and as much playing, reading and enjoying as possible. If I am consistently on top of obedience and discipline issues every day during his absence, this (in theory) will result in better behaved children and less time spent disciplining littles while daddy is home. This makes him happy!

What things do you do to honor your king and ultimately, your King?

(Side note: this was to be posted yesterday but it was a crazy day with a teething toddle, an emotional daughter and a plethora of other incidents. Since yesterday I greeted my husband in poor spirit wearing PJ bottoms, I felt it would be hypocritical to post this. While I can assure you that the above accurately reflects MOST of our days, bad days do happen too! lol!)